A few months ago I was really struggling with a particularly challenging relationship in my life.
Things weren’t going well, to say the least. Here’s what it looked like:
Anger, anger, anger, resistance, surrender, opening up, closing off, sadness, letting go, shutting down, letting go, tears, opening back up, tantrum, getting furious, closing off, sadness, anger, blood boiling, releasing, letting go, anger, opening up... and so on and so forth.
That’s the God’s honest truth.
And that’s life! It’s messy and it’s beautiful. It’s up and it’s down. And sometimes, it looks and feels like a dog’s breakfast. But it’s also incredibly colorful and ‘imperfectly perfect’ all at the same time. The trick is to not judge it. Hard, I know! Us humans love to judge and label everything from situations to relationships. Whenever we can, we will whack a big fat label on things. Our Mean Girl loves them. She thrives on them. But I will let you in on a little secret...
In order to release suffering it’s imperative to quit labeling.
Labeling causes suffering and keeps you stuck in Fear Town.
You see, pain is inevitable. But suffering is a choice.
It’s easy to get caught up in the story and drama of the situation at hand, but what’s that really going to do…? Nothing! I know for a fact that the only thing it will accomplish is to cause more suffering and pain for myself.
When you truly realize that every person (and every situation) is your teacher and an opportunity for growth, you start to look at life through a different lens. You see, when I was struggling with that particular relationship, I forgot the truth for a moment. Instead of seeing it through love’s lens I was choosing to see it through my fear-based goggles. I was choosing to suffer. I forgot that my relationships are my spiritual assignments and I got totally sucked into the vortex of suffering. And let me tell you: that’s not a fun place to be — for me or for the people around me.
But you know what? I came back pretty quickly, and that is what it’s all about. When you forget the truth of who you are (which by the way is love) it’s your job to remind yourself as quickly as you can so you can return to love. Some times are harder than others (I know, I get it!) but — like anything — the more and more you practice, the better and better you get.
4 Steps For Coping With Challenging Relationships
1. Lose your sh*t. Get angry. Stomp your feet. Scream into a pillow. Have a Pity Party Dance Off. Jump up and down. Dive into the ocean. Do whatever you need to do to get that energy out of your body.
2. Come back and come back fast. Once you have allowed yourself to lose your sh*t, make sure you come back to the present moment. Don’t sit in suffering playing the victim. Life’s short and we need to bounce back quickly sista.
3. Forgive. I know it’s a toughie, but forgiveness is the key to your freedom. When you forgive, you are not condoning what happened, you are simply freeing yourself from the ties that have bound you to the person or situation.
4. Let go and move on, sista! Quit talking about it — move on and let it go. It’s done, you have bounced back, you’ve forgiven them, now it’s time to leave it in the past. Come back to the precious present moment.
The truth is, we are always going to experience situations in our life that challenge and stretch us. There’s always going to be stuff that forces us to test the muscles we’ve been building through our daily practice. We can’t change this.
What we can change is how we react to those situations. In fact, how you react is the only thing you truly have control over in life. Sometimes you will surprise the pants off yourself with how well you handled a situation. Other times you will lose your sh*t, completely forget the truth of who you are, and wonder whether all those years and dollars you’ve spent on personal development were a complete waste... And that’s ok! That’s life, my sweet friend: Diverse. Colorful. Messy. And oh-so-beautiful. All wrapped up together with a little bow.
Life is here to stretch us. To make us expand beyond our wildest dreams. To remind us of everything we already know deep within. To unlearn the practices and conditioning that make us feel small so we can melt back into love.
When you commit to doing the work on yourself, the most magical thing happens... you inspire the world. Because when you expand and your light gets brighter, a beautiful ripple effect takes place and radiates outward.
So let’s all do this together. Let’s all take responsibility for our stuff. Let’s deal with it and move on. Let’s remember our truth. It’s time to come back to the light and choose not to suffer. It’s time to inspire the world...
Oh, and that relationship challenge I had? When I committed to looking inwards and doing the work, things shifted. Radically. Here’s how it looked afterwards:
Surrender. Release. Freedom. Love. Light.
It may have taken me a few twists and turns to get there, but I made it in the end! And that’s all that matters.
So tell me, sweet one: do you have any ways to deal with (bear with me, I am going to label here!) ‘difficult’ relationships? If so, please share with us in the comments below. I would love to hear your insights and wisdom.
Remember, thousands of people come here daily to be inspired by your words, so please share from your heart and help bring even more love and light into the world. Your words might be the one thing someone needs to read in order to make dramatic shifts in their own life. So share from your heart.
As always, thank you so much for all the truth and beauty you pour into the comments. I love reading them all.
Full Article: https://melissaambrosini.com/love/4-steps-for-coping-with-challenging-relationships/
Ambrosini, M. (n.d.). 4 steps for coping with challenging relationships. Retrieved from https://melissaambrosini.com/love/4-steps-for-coping-with-challenging-relationships/