Let Go Of This ONE Thing And Watch Your Relationships Flourish

Let Go Of This ONE Thing And Watch Your Relationships Flourish

26 August 2019

I remind myself of these following potent words every day: "Nothing ruins relationships faster than expectations."

You want to improve your life? Let go of your expectations. You see, it’s easy for expectations to run rife in our relationships, keeping us stuck, unhappy, and separated from our truth. But a little bit of awareness — and an intention to change — can make all the difference.

The trouble starts because we use labels to define the people in our lives, like ‘friend’, ‘boss’, ‘mother’, ‘father’, ‘husband’, ‘sister’, ‘daughter’, ‘aunt’... We then unconsciously (or consciously) attach a list of criteria to that label of what we expect of that person (labels and expectations go hand in hand).

Which then results in a whole lot of angst and drama...

You’re my sister so you should do this for me.

You're my boss so you should treat me a certain way.

You’re my mother so you should put up with me speaking to you like s#@t.

You’re my friend so you should act how I believe a friend should act.

You’re my husband so you should put up with my crap, take out the rubbish, earn X amount and ravish me, all at the same time.

Fact is, if it was anyone else or if you removed the label, you probably wouldn’t treat them the same way. But because you’ve pegged them in a box and attached a label, it seems to make it ‘okay’.

But let me tell you, sweet pea... it’s not!

Let’s just imagine for a moment that there were no labels and we were all one. All equal, all magical creations, and all drops of the same beautiful ocean. How would you treat those people then?

I’m betting you’d treat them like precious specks of gold. You would honour them. Cherish them. Love them. Hold them close. Because you could see the magnificence of that which they truly are.

But my darling, this scenario isn’t some farfetched fantasy — this is our reality. This is how we can choose to look at things every single day. It’s a choice (like everything) and best of all, it’s your choice.

You would treat them like Mother Teresa, in fact why don't you treat everyone that comes into your life like that? Maybe we could all give it a go!

But it’s not just the expectations we place on others that are hurting us. There are also the ones you place on yourself...

You should have that high paying job.

You should have a tighter ass, clearer skin, and a six-pack like Miranda Kerr.

You should have your dream home in your favourite suburb by now, and not still be living in a share house.

You should be earning X amount and not living off your parents.

You should have married your soul mate by now. (Come on girlfriend, the clock is ticking!)

You should have 3 well-behaved angel like children.

Sound familiar?

"Expectations are your Mean Girl's way of keeping you stuck in Fear Town."

Expectations are your Mean Girl's way of keeping you stuck in Fear Town. Which is Not. Your. Truth. Love is!

Remember that. Expectations will tear down your relationships and hold you hostage to your Mean Girl, but the truth will set you free.

Letting go of expectations is an art and — like everything else — needs to be practiced daily. Notice when you go to place expectations on yourself or others. Catch yourself and choose differently.

To really cement this process in your mind, try the following exercise. Take out a pen and paper and finish this sentence:

I realize I have expectations on [insert name] however, I now release my need for [eg. my husband to show up a certain way, my latest book to take off, everything to run a certain way etc]. Thank you for the growth.

A powerful affirmation I use is...

I let go of all my expectations, I release the need to push.

Say it. Out loud. Over and over. And feel it with every fiber of your being.

I personally hand over all my expectations to Ganesh (the remover of obstacles) at the end of my meditation every morning. I let them go and get them out of my body. If that resonates with you, give it a try for yourself.

The most important thing to do is catch yourself when you have expectations. Take responsibility and choose differently. It takes practice and it all starts with a choice. A choice that will improve your life.

Full Article: https://melissaambrosini.com/love/improve-your-relationships/

Ambrosini, M. (n.d.). Let go of this one thing and watch your relationships flourish. Retrieved from https://melissaambrosini.com/love/improve-your-relationships/